- Eyes — Pierce a hole through someone’s skull with your eyes.
We’ve heard it time and time again: “It’s all in the eyes.” People with darting, shifty eyes are a worrisome sort, and this behavior should be corrected if they ever want to come off cucumber-like in a meeting or at an event.
Instead of channeling UFOs, you should be focused on the person in front of you and the conversation at hand. Try somewhere in between bedroom eyes and life-flashing-right-before-your-eyes eyes. This gaze will let your listeners know the level of urgency with which you listen when hearing important information.
In the ground-breaking book, “Eyeballs Talking” author and communicator Marv Barryson advises, “Pretend your listener’s eyes are the pepperonis on the pizza you will consume at an alarming rate after the conversation is over.”
Once you perfect this art, you’ll rapidly notice a positive change in the way you communicate with others.
2. Hands — Raise your hands high above your head so everyone can see them.
Those pesky hands. It would be easier if they didn’t exist at all, am I right? It’s difficult to know what to do with them, especially if you’re one of those people who picks their toenails with a pair of chopsticks when you’re nervous.
In response to our supreme terror of social rejection, we oftentimes cross our arms or jam our hands in our pockets and discover a quarter that we need for one of the five loads of laundry that we will do when we get home.
Inside Business Person reports, “It’s important that you raise your hands high above your head so that everyone knows exactly where your hands are, and that they’re not scrambling around your genitals underneath the table.
Lift your hands up over your head until you can feel a slight strain in your shoulders. Invite people to tickle your armpits to let them know just how much you trust them.
- Stance — No sudden movements; camouflage your nerves
It’s understandable that people need to scratch their noses sometimes. But for the most part, think of that childhood game Freeze Tag when people are talking to you. People are like deer in the woods; they spook easily. What’s more, you don’t want to give them the impression that you have thoughts about the fragility of life or the meaningless nature of small talk.
Dr. Bartholomew Fartz, a behavior analyzer who has also taken his fair share of nude drawings classes to better understand the body, has worked with the FBI to unmask the deception behind finger picking and rocking back and forth on your heels. It turns out most people who do these things have likely drowned an adorable animal or two at one point in their lives.
I know I said “don’t move.” But apparently that’s a menace to conversation as well, so maybe nod your head. Yes, freeze your entire body save for the nodding of your head.
Look aggressive, but not too aggressive.
4. Posture — Refrain from slouching like a slob.
Remember all those times your parents forced you to be a productive, good-for-something somebody according to society’s standards, and you responded with a slouch and an attitude? Yeah, don’t do that. You’re not in high school. Spit out your gum and sit up straight, like a spider just crawled up your back.
“If you slouch, it lets people know that you choose to spend most of your time watching Netflix original series and eating cold pasta out of a pot in the dark. It gives people the impression that you don’t find yourself as gold-starish as your teachers proclaimed you were,” said career advisor Belinda Dalloway.
Let’s go back to the spider crawling up your back. Think about that spider for a moment again. Think about being attached to its web. It’s stringing you along, lengthening your body, pulling it tighter and tighter.
Sitting up straight conveys that you have your life together and you’re pretty much self-actualized.
It isn’t easy, but it’s common sense if you think about it. The more solider-like you sit, the more work hours you will be able to put in without much back strain. And we know what happens when you have back strain. YOU GET FAT (but that’s a conversation for another helpful listicle).
5. When all else fails, be like Sophia.